I have always loved animals. One of the memorable and special moments that I can remember when I was young was when a new family member was introduced into our home. No it wasn’t a baby brother or sister, as I am an only child, it was a new puppy!
I was 4 years old at the time and my Uncle John had gone to a junk yard to get some parts for a car. At the junk yard, he found a mother dog and her two puppies left to fend for themselves during the cold winter. My Uncle being the big kind-hearted man that he was couldn’t leave the dogs. So he loaded them into his car and drove them home. Our family was very close and he called my Mom and told her the story of how he found them and described the beautiful puppies. She secretly went down to their house. She she returned she came into the house and a cute little fuzzy head poked out beneath her coat. I was sooooo excited! My Aunt and Uncle kept the mother and other puppy. We then began the task of choosing the puppy’s name. Of course, since I was the only child I got to name it. I’m not sure why, but I insisted on the name Putzie. (poor dog!) But I know I was in LOVE!
Even though she was considered a mutt, she was beautiful! She had the same colors and markings of a collie. In my mind she was as beautiful as Lassie. (I loved watching Lassie as a child, but I would cry so often because she would usually get in some predicament while helping people or other animals). I was so happy to have a dog again. We had to put a dog to sleep not too long before and I really missed having a dog in our home.
Our new puppy grew and was a part of our every day life. We did so many fun things together and we were fortunate enough to enjoy her company for 14 years. When you have a pet for that amount of time living in your home, you get so attached to them. They are there when you go to sleep at night and eagerly waiting for you to open your eyes in the morning. When you leave the house, whether you have been gone five minutes or five hours, dogs are ecstatic when you come home. It doesn’t matter if your pet is a dog, cat, ferret, rabbit, or any other animal. They are a part of your family. And she definitely was a part of our family.
We had 14 wonderful years together. Unfortunately, one day she became very ill and to be humane and loving to her we had to put her to sleep. Even though I was much older and I knew that she was ill and up in years, it still hurt terribly. The house seemed so empty without her energy and her physical presence. We all missed her for a very long time.
Sometimes losing a pet is just as difficult as losing a family member. Studies have shown that at times, losing a pet is as traumatic as losing a family member. Pets rely on us for everything, much like a child that hits toddler age and never grows up. They rely upon us for everything. This is why we become so attached to them.
I know that I’m not the only person that feels this way. So many of my friends and family have experienced the loss of their pet. At times a pet suddenly becomes ill or lost and never returns home. You are left to grieve without the ability to have closure. Unfortunately, there are times when you have to euthanize your pet. You don’t want to do it too early and you don’t want to make your pet suffer. This leaves with grief, questions, and doubts in our mind wondering if we did the right thing.
Either way, we experience loss and grief on many levels. We have relationships with this animal, just as we have a relationship with people. Sometimes there are ways that are relationship is deeper with the pets. Pets are often with us at our darkest moments and a constant companion. We don’t have to worry about them sharing our secrets or judging us. They give us unconditional love. They don’t care how we look, how we dress, or criticize us if we didn’t take a shower today.
Whether you are rich, poor, young, or old, we have one thing in common. We all experience grief in some level of loss when we lose their presence in our life.
Why is Grief so Difficult to Navigate?
Death/grieving is a subject we don’t like to discuss because it makes us feel uncomfortable. As humans, we tend to “pull inward” to protect ourselves and don’t want to show that we are hurting.
We struggle because we don’t know what to do when we are experiencing it, we don’t know how to walk through it to get to the other side, and we don’t know what to do to help someone else who is experiencing grief. Just because your loss was a pet, that doesn’t mean that grief is any easier. You still have the same hurdles and mindset to struggle with.
For some strange reason society has created a set of unspoken rules for grief that we are supposed to know about and follow. We try to live within these unspoken “rules” and hate to talk about what we are feeling and often feel shame that we aren’t following the timetable to “get over it”. Particularly when it involves a pet. Almost immediately, people want to know when you are going to get a new pet. I know that pet loss isn’t this simple. Others tend to minimize the loss because its a pet, so we are embarrassed that we are experiencing a large amount of grief. As a result, too many people suffer alone and feel isolated feeling ashamed to admit that they are having such a hard time with this loss.
The death of a pet is very personal and we need time to process the broad spectrum of emotions such as extreme sadness, shock, confusion, resentment, anger, loneliness, and even guilt. When you are in the midst of processing all of these emotions you are lost and have no direction. The days drag on because you feel an intense longing for your loved one. You may also be grieving what you didn’t receive from the relationship and now you can’t fix the problem because they are no longer here. This causes so much pain and is so hard to work through.
Loss of your beloved pet is painful. It may be your first experience with death or the 100th time you have lost a pet, each loss is unique and it touches your life and your heart from that moment forward.
BUT … THERE IS A WAY TO WORK WITH THE GRIEF
PAINTING WITH INTENTION IS AN ACTIVE PROCESS
With paint and Intentional Creativity
we will walk through how
your pet has brought joy
and happiness to your life
and put it
into the canvas to
process and transform your grief.
You will have a tangible
reminder of the
positive things your
beloved pet
brought to your lives.
This is a simple way to walk through
grief and transform what you
are feeling into acceptance
and appreciation for what
you have been given.
We need a new perspective and a new set of eyes and tools that allow us to be able to listen to what we are feeling and transform it so that we can heal.
This is exactly why I created a transformative program called Grief to Grace for Your Pet Family. In a protective and supportive environment, we will use art and Intentional Creativitytm to put feelings and intention (healing of your heart and remember the joys that your pet brought to your life) into the canvas so that you can work with and transform your grief.
Painting is an active process. This action brings relief to your grief and come to terms with these changes.
How Do I Know This Process Works?
I used this process to walk through my own grief for the loss of my Mom. She left this earth Thanksgiving week of 2014. I had already been painting and studying the Intentional CreativityTM method. I had lost many other extremely close family members, but this was a new experience dealing with my Mother’s death. Since the death of my Father 14 years prior, we went everywhere together. (She didn’t drive and I had no siblings). As an only child, we were very close. I was also her caregiver during that time and the last five-years of her life she experienced health challenges. Of course it was heart-breaking to watch her slip away from me a little each day. Her mind was so sharp, but her body was failing. My entire world revolved around her.
When she passed:
my entire world changed
my life changed
my purpose was gone
my heart was broken
I felt alone in the world
and my personal life was a shambles from things that had nothing to do with her
But I took my grief to the canvas and did the work. I connected with the canvas and before my very eyes images appeared, thoughts came and I was blessed with memories of times together. I used what I had learned from the Intentional Creativity MethodTM and Formless Taoism and gathered the blessings that her life and her presence gave to me and those around her.
I found special ways to incorporate rituals, symbols, and words into the painting.
Please don’t misunderstand, our life and relationship was not perfect. We both had our faults and did things that injured the other. This method and what I have learned have helped me to find the golden nuggets and polish them so that I can cherish what I received and learn from the relationship so that I can carry it forward with joy to the rest of my life.
Yes there are times that I am teary. (I am right now as I write this). But they represent tears of gratitude and a full feeling that I have been blessed beyond measure. Yes…I will still always miss her. But this work has helped me to transform how I feel.
I know deep within my heart that anyone can experience this transformation of grief through this work if they allow themselves to have access to their own information (you have to be willing to go to those places) and allow themselves the time and space to work with it. No painting experience is necessary. This isn’t about creating a piece of art. This is about connecting with yourself and your own information to heal yourself.
Since this process is so powerful, it can also be used to help you through the grief process of losing your beloved pet. My parents taught me that when you get a pet, you are committed to their care for the rest of their lives. I have had just a handful of pets in my life and enjoyed them all. Here are a few pictures of my pets that I have been blessed with in my lifetime so far. I have had dogs, cats, a cockatiel, hamster, rabbit and fish.
The Process:
The most important thing to know is that no painting experience is necessary.
The painting method that we will use to transform your thoughts is called the Intentional Creativity Methodtm. This method is about accessing and connecting with your feelings and your subconscious mind. It helps you to establish a communication between the logical side of your brain and the feeling side of your brain. If the two sides can’t communicate,you often end up with your mind “running” on the treadmill unable to jump off. Using art and creativity will help you to break that loop of the constant churning of the same thoughts and helps you to establish new thought patterns.
Through mindfulness and introspection, we will take the time to explore how your pet enriched your life. We will discuss the Legend of the Red Thread and make you aware of the invisible and unbreakable connection with your special pet.
If you had to euthanize your pet, I’m sure you may be experiencing some conflicting emotions. You may be worried you made the right decision at the right time and you may feel guilt. We will address some of these topics and help you to bring resolution to this feeling.
This painting process will help you to see these gifts that your pet brought to you life and give you a way to honor what they have given you.
We will put this new energy and new story into the canvas. When you transform it on the canvas thru color and symbolism with the active movement of painting, it becomes a new part of your mind, subconscious, and your heart.
This isn’t about talk therapy. You aren’t required to sit and talk with the group about your experience. However, if you have something that you would like to share it will be a safe space for doing so. However, what you share is your choice.
This isn’t about painting techniques. The Grief to Grace Program for Pets provides you with an experience to connect energetically with your loved one so that you may give yourself an opportunity to heal in the grieving process. You will leave with a canvas, which is now a tangible object that gives you joy and connect with your pet.
This is … a way to find acceptance, peace, and even joy in the midst of grief.
My goal is to provide the tools of art, prompting, time away from your everyday life, and support so that you can explore and walk thru the challenges of grief. You have the innate ability to access what you need to process your grief, I am just assisting you with a hands on way to do it. You are totally in control of this process.
This is true personal empowerment!
Who Can Do This:
The Grief to Grace Program for Pets works for any age from child to 90 years old.
It doesn’t matter what type of pet you have: dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, horses, etc. If you have grief over the loss of a pet, this program is for you.
I prefer to work with children and teens separately, as they have different life experiences than adults. I currently have up-to-date child clearances required by law.
Work can be scheduled individually, as a group, or as a family. The method adapts to the group or the situation.
How Soon After Loss Should You Do This Program?
You will know when the time is right. If you read about it and it resonates with you, it’s time. It doesn’t matter if your loss is recent or 20-years ago. The important part is that you find a way to resolve what remains unsettled within you.
This is a wonderful way to honor your relationship with your wonderful pet!
What I Provide:
- We will be painting on a canvas of a minimum of 16″ x 20″ and acrylic paint
- brushes and various creative materials
- light snacks, coffee, tea, and water
What You Bring:
- Yourself. We will be painting approximately 2 1/2 – 3 hours and some breaks when needed. If you have specific snack you enjoy, you may bring it for break time.
- Please bring a picture or a small belonging of your pet/pets to feel their presence and connection. It is nice to have something as a reminder near you while you are painting. It needs to be important to you!
Even though this is difficult work, I consider it an honor to work with people in this way. If you would like further information or would like to schedule a session, please feel free to contact me
(724) 320-1300 or
email me at paintthewaynow@gmail.com
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