As human beings we experience many events in our lives that are both big and small. Some of the milestones that impact us in different ways are graduation, marriage, divorce, new jobs, new homes, and birth of our children. Each event can bring incredible joy or tremendous heartache.
I think one of the most difficult experiences in life is when you lose someone that you love through death. To complicate matters more, some of us have had to be their caretaker. Sometimes as a caretaker, we watch the one we love slowly slip away from us. Whether the change is of mind, body, or spirit, they may have changed from a healthy vibrant person to a person we can’t recognize. Or at other times, our loved one is gone in the blink of an eye due to an unexpected event or illness and we are shaken to our core.
Death/grieving is a subject we don’t like to discuss because it makes us feel uncomfortable. As humans, we tend to “pull inward” to protect ourselves and don’t want to show that we are hurting.
We struggle because we don’t know what to do when we are experiencing it, we don’t know how to walk through it to get to the other side, and we don’t know what to do to help someone else who is experiencing grief.
For some strange reason society has created a set of unspoken rules for grief that we are supposed to know about and follow. We try to live within these unspoken “rules” and hate to talk about what we are feeling and often feel shame that we aren’t following the timetable to “get over it”. The problem is, we can’t walk through it if we can’t go near it. As a result, too many people suffer alone and feel isolated.
It’s time that we break the rules once and for all and look at the grieving process and how we handle it. The death of a loved one is very personal and we need time to process the broad spectrum of emotions such as extreme sadness, shock, confusion, resentment, anger, loneliness, and even guilt. When you are in the midst of processing all of these emotions you are lost and have no direction. The days drag on because you feel an intense longing for your loved one. You may also be grieving what you didn’t receive from the relationship and now you can’t fix the problem because they are no longer here. This causes so much pain and is so hard to work through.
It doesn’t matter if they were a family member, friend, or co-worker. Loss of your loved one is painful. It may be your first experience with death or the 100th time you have lost someone, each loss is unique and it touches your life and your heart from that moment forward.
The truth is you will never be the same.
How could you be after such a profound event?
BUT …
We need a new perspective and a new set of eyes and tools that allow us to be able to listen to what we are feeling and transform it so that we can heal.
This is exactly why I created a transformative program called Grief to Grace. In a protective and supportive environment, we will use art and Intentional CreativityTM to put feelings and intention (healing of your heart and bring acceptance your relationship) into the canvas so that you can work with and transform your grief.
How Do I Know This Process Works?
I used this process to walk through my own grief for the loss of my Mom. She left this earth Thanksgiving week of 2014. I had already been painting and studying the Intentional CreativityTM method. I had lost many other extremely close family members, but this was a new experience dealing with my Mother’s death. Since the death of my Father 14 years prior, we went everywhere together. (She didn’t drive and I had no siblings). As an only child, we were very close. I was also her caregiver during that time and the last five-years of her life she experienced health challenges. Of course it was heart-breaking to watch her slip away from me a little each day. Her mind was so sharp, but her body was failing. My entire world revolved around her.
When she passed:
my entire world changed
my life changed
my purpose was gone
my heart was broken
I felt alone in the world
and my personal life was a shambles from things that had nothing to do with her
But I took my grief to the canvas and did the work. I connected with the canvas and before my very eyes images appeared, thoughts came and I was blessed with memories of times together. I used what I had learned from the Intentional Creativity MethodTM and Formless Taoism and gathered the blessings that her life and her presence gave to me and those around her.
I found special ways to incorporate rituals, symbols, and words into the painting.
Please don’t misunderstand, our life and relationship was not perfect. We both had our faults and did things that injured the other. This method and what I have learned have helped me to find the golden nuggets and polish them so that I can cherish what I received and learn from the relationship so that I can carry it forward with joy to the rest of my life.
Yes there are times that I am teary. (I am right now as I write this). But they represent tears of gratitude and a full feeling that I have been blessed beyond measure. Yes…I will still always miss her. But this work has helped me to transform how I feel.
I know deep within my heart that anyone can experience this transformation of grief through this work if they allow themselves to have access to their own information (you have to be willing to go to those places) and allow themselves the time and space to work with it. No painting experience is necessary. This isn’t about creating a piece of art. This is about connecting with yourself and your own information to heal yourself.
Below is the painting that emerged.
I have only shared this image with my family and very few trusted friends. It is deeply personal to me,
but I’m willing to share it because I would like to help as many people as possible.
The Process:
The most important thing to know is that no painting experience is necessary.
The painting method that we will use to transform your thoughts is called the Intentional Creativity MethodTM. This method is about accessing and connecting with your feelings and your subconscious mind. It helps you to establish a communication between the logical side of your brain and the feeling side of your brain. If the two sides can’t communicate,you often end up with your mind “running” on the treadmill unable to jump off. Using art and creativity will help you to break that loop of the constant churning of the same thoughts and helps you to establish new thought patterns.
Through mindfulness and introspection, we will take the time to explore your story/connection and your roles in each others lives. We will discuss the Legend of the Red Thread and make you aware of the invisible and unbreakable connection with your loved one.
You do not have to have a perfect relationship with the one that you lost. To be at peace regarding a relationship, you have to come to accept others positive aspects and love them in spite of their flaws. (This is sometimes very challenging as a human being).
All experiences, both positive and negative, teach us something. Even the most challenging relationships have a positive impact somewhere in your life.
This painting process will help you to see these gifts with a new set of eyes and a new perspective to rewrite your story of your past, present, and future.
We will put this new energy and new story into the canvas. When you transform it on the canvas thru color and symbolism with the active movement of painting, it becomes a new part of your mind, subconscious, and your heart.
This isn’t about talk therapy. You aren’t required to sit and talk with the group about your experience. However, if you have something that you would like to share it will be a safe space for doing so. However, what you share is your choice.
This isn’t about painting techniques. The Grief to Grace Program provides you with an experience to connect energetically with your loved one so that you may give yourself an opportunity to heal in the grieving process. You will leave with a canvas, which is now a tangible object of your new story to look at daily to reinforce the positive experience of your connection to the one you love.
This is … a way to find acceptance, peace, and even joy in the midst of grief.
My goal is to provide the tools of art, prompting, time away from your everyday life, and support so that you can explore and walk thru the challenges of grief. You have the innate ability to access what you need to process your grief, I am just assisting you with a hands on way to do it. You are totally in control of this process.
This is true personal empowerment!
Who Can Do This:
The Grief to Grace Program works for any age from child to 90 years old.
I prefer to work with children and teens separately, as they have different life experiences than adults. I currently have up-to-date child clearances required by law.
Work can be scheduled individually, as a group, or as a family. The method adapts to the group or the situation.
How Soon After Loss Should You Do This Program?
You will know when the time is right. If you read about it and it resonates with you, it’s time. It doesn’t matter if your loss is recent or 20-years ago. The important part is that you find a way to resolve what remains unsettled within you.
This is a wonderful way to honor your relationship with your loved one!
What I Provide:
- We will be painting on a canvas of a minimum of 16″ x 20″ and acrylic paint
- brushes and various creative materials
- light snacks, coffee, tea, and water
What You Bring:
- Yourself and a bagged lunch. We will be painting approximately 7- 8 hours and will have approximately 45 minutes for lunch and some breaks when needed. If you prefer, you can eat on your own at local places of your choosing that are located in the area.
- Please bring a picture or a small belonging of your loved one that helps you to feel their presence and connection. It is nice to have something as a reminder near you while you are painting. It needs to be important to you!
Even though this is difficult work, I consider it an honor to work with people in this way. If you would like further information or would like to schedule a session, please feel free to contact me
(724) 320-1300 or
email me at paintthewaynow@gmail.com
Recent Comments